2021 is OVER

While I sit here trying to process the news of Betty the White’s death, I thought maybe I should just try to sum up the year while I’m at it.

We lost Betty White today. She was an absolute legend in entertainment. She was hilarious, groundbreaking, and all in unassuming sweet packaging. That was part of her charm. She was 99, set to turn 100 years old next week. Betty White has seen some shit. Now she gets to rest while the rest of us mourn her and miss her. Rest in peace, Queen.

So while none of us want to claim 2022 as “our year” because the last few years have been… well… I’m going to look back on what 2021 has been for me.

2021 has been my year of rest and trying to find peace. I have been coming to terms with what had actually happened. I was so stressed out due to work/pandemic that I actually made myself physically sick and I am still dealing with the aftermath of that. I had bad stress related acid reflux that affected my ability to eat food and changed my relationship with food so that I actually became malnourished a few times. The lasting affects of which actually caused my hair to thin a lot. Turns out after a visit to the doctor and extensive bloodwork, that while I am NOT anemic, I do have an iron deficiency. Nutrition is so important. We often think we are invincible in our youth and for some reason many of us will sacrifice our health for our families or our jobs or even because we were never taught the right way to be healthy. Maybe it’s a combination of all of that. The good news is that I quit my job last February, and while I do miss aspects of it, I am so glad I am privileged and lucky enough to be able to afford a break and also to lean on family. Because while I needed this break to heal my body and breathe, I also got to spend real quality time with my sister and niece, and that has been everything. It’s also allowed me to reprioritize myself, and I think that’s what a lot of people are doing right now. Nothing like a pandemic to make us realize that we actually deserve better. Now if we can just overthrow our corporate overlords……

I really leaned into my fangirl nerdiness this year by doing something I’ve wanted to learn how to do for ages. I learned how to make gifs in photoshop. See, there are lots of fandoms on Tumblr, you know, social media for nerds. And in these fandoms are creators. Some write fanfiction, some create fanart, and some take scenes or shots of their favorite actors and make them into moving gifs. I’ve always wanted to learn how to make beautiful gifs in Photoshop. And I did that this year. And it’s one of those things where you learn how to do it, but you have to practice and get better. I’m pretty good at it now, but I’m still learning. I’m also learning how to do regular stuff in photoshop but I’m just sooooooo not good at any of that yet. I am super grateful for the internet and all of the blogs and experts who have come before me. Also, my birthday is coming up and so is my Photoshop subscription renewal. *hint*

And through fandom I’ve actually made a couple of friends. Very sweet people who live in faraway and exciting places. No matter how big the world is, we can connect with anyone anywhere.

Me and lots of other people got vaccinated for COVID (I also just got my booster, thanks) which helped us to feel a little more comfortable and normal, for like, a week. That was fun. In all seriousness though, getting vaccinated did take a lot of the edge off of the pandemic anxiety.

I don’t even feel like it’s New Years Eve. It just feels like another day, and in a way it is. With the Omicron variant complicating everything, there are no celebrations to go to. Nothing to mark the passage of time. Except maybe a neighbor setting off fireworks and making me very, very grumpy at midnight. Curse the lack of rain today! The only thing I want to take with me into 2022 is that I am still a priority. I plan to keep growing and pushing out of my comfort zone and making things happen.

So, let us all wave goodbye to 2021. Bye, fuck off, whatever. I’m not entering 2022 with much optimism for the world, but maybe a little for myself. I aim to be healthier and happier because while I cannot control the world, I can control what I do and who I am in the world. So, cheers to those we’ve lost, and cheers to those of us who have survived. To growing stronger and better next year!

Media that is not mine is property of original owners